Loveless in California 
Well, it's been since Tuesday I spoke to Aaron and that was just a quick little exchange about New Years. I seriously miss him. I know we were far from perfect but when we were good, we were really good, and the bad wasn't bad, just...absent. I know it's bad timing for him, but I wanted him to hang on and stick it out. He made me feel so good about myself when I was with him, and he's a genuine, great guy. I want to keep the line of communication open with him but I don't know what to say.

Weight a Minute
My weight loss has slowed and it sucks. This morning I weighed in at 188.0. Only down 3oz from the day before and I hardly ate yesterday. I know I just need to stick it out and it will eventually come off, but its hard not losing. I'm only down a total of 8.4lbs and I had hoped for at least 10 by now. My goal for January is to lose 20lbs and so far I am only down 1.3. That is not good. This weekend I am going to try do to a cleanse both Saturday and Sunday. I haven't really pooped so I'm hoping once I cleanse and I poop that I lose a lb or two. I also am entering my second week on the raspberry ketones which the lady said it starts really working at three weeks. I added Hoodia to my regimen and I will also be adding Green Coffee Beans. All I know is that I need to lose more per day in order to drop this weight. This 1-2lbs a week thing is not for me. I need faster results.

Shopping
I went to the mall with mom for something to do and wound up trying some stuff on. I fit (tightly) into a size 12 dress and the pants I'm wearing today are a size 12. I have muffin top and they are tight but at least they are on and that is more than I could do a few weeks ago. I was bursting out of a size 16. I also bought two bras. I was happily surprised to know that I have gone down from a 36 to a 34. At one time I was a 30! Ugh...to be there again...but I will do it. I read up online about weight loss transformations and some of them took a year, some took 6 months. I don't really want mine to take that long but at least I am losing and it will eventually add up. I'd like to be about a size 6. Smaller if I can, but I don't know if that is possible. That is still 4 sizes smaller than I am now.

Numbers Games
December 26, 2012    196.4   (starting weight)
January 1, 2013          189.3   (down 7.1lbs in just over one week)
Today (1-4-13)           188.0

If I lose 2lbs a week from here to the end of January I will weigh about 180.0, down only 8lbs (total loss of 16.4lbs)
If I lose 4lbs a week that will be another 8lbs putting me at 172.0ish. (Total loss of 24lbs).

In order to lose my goal loss of 20lbs in the month of January I would have to weigh 169.3 by the 31st. Obviously 3oz isn't going to get me there. :(